Purple Cow Spinoffs

The poem “I Never Saw a Purple Cow” became so famous that Burgess became exasperated when he was constantly reminded.  So in response he presented a new spinoff of the famous poem:

Ah, yes, I wrote the “Purple Cow”—

I’m sorry, now, I wrote it;

But I can tell you Anyhow

I’ll Kill you if you Quote it!


Many variations of the famous poem have been written.  Here are a few of them:


I’ve never seen a purple cow

My eyes with ears are full.

I’ve never seen a purple cow,

And I’m a purple bull.


I’ve never seen a purple cow.

I never hope to see one.

But from the milk we’re getting now.

There certainly must be one!


I’ve never seen an abominable snowman,

I’m hoping not to see one,

I’m also hoping, if I do,

That it will be a wee one.


I never was a vitamin;

I never hope to be one;

But I can tell you anyhow;

I’d rather C than B1


I’ve never heard a cat meow.

I’d never want to feed one.

But I can tell you Anyhow,

It’s some trouble to de-flea one.



Purple Cow Spinoffs — 4 Comments